


The world is cruel (I hope you're happy)

by aomgsus



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Cat/Human Hybrids, Fluff and Angst, Hybrids, Light Angst, M/M, self-indulgent hybrid!Bobby x everyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-01
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-14 03:03:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16484798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aomgsus/pseuds/aomgsus
Summary: Hanbin would entrust Jiwon with his entire life. Naturally, it's upsetting to know Jiwon might not trust any of them the same way.





	The world is cruel (I hope you're happy)

**Author's Note:**

> tw for mentions of past bullying, but not by iKON themselves. Title inspired by "Everything".
> 
> [Work started: April 1st]

If someone had asked Hanbin earlier that day, his view on how much the band trusted him would have been far different.

Hanbin had assumed iKON knew everything there was to know about each other. After two survival programs, three years as a band, and over five years since the band’s idea came into being, it seemed like no secrets about one of them could have possibly evaded the others. iKON was a safe space. Sure they argued sometimes, but that was part of any healthy and close relationship. The positive always outweighed the negative, good days far outnumbered the bad ones, and at the end of the day they always had each other if things ended in tears. Naturally, it only seemed fair to view them as a group that fought all their personal battles together.

And now, standing in the hall and viewing Jiwon as a near stranger, he realizes just how naive he had been. Because their relationship had felt beyond the point of keeping secrets. He thought they were all, as a group dynamic, different. Far different than it is now, at least, as he stares at Jiwon from the crack in the open bathroom door, and notices new appendages the other boy had never mentioned to him. Or anyone else, for that matter.

Because apparently, Kim Jiwon is a hybrid and has managed to hide it for the entirety of their time knowing each other. Which feels like it’s been forever.

It’s surreal. Everything is perfectly familiar, comfortable. The bathroom is the same it’s always been in the free spirits’ dorm, a little chaotic but in the “order” the messier half of the band insists upon. The smell of Jiwon’s body wash, both hinting at both floral and musky in such a pleasant combination. Those sweats, which he’s pretty sure Jiwon has had since they moved into their first set of dorms. Jiwon, who’s been such a source of comfort for him and such a good friend.

But the whole scene is just slightly wrong. Namely, there’s a pair of fuzzy ears amidst the damp mess of hair Jiwon’s toweling off, and an equally damp tail flicks lazily against the back of his thighs. And suddenly Hanbin’s heart hurts at the idea that maybe things may not be as reciprocated as he had thought. That maybe Jiwon didn’t truly trust them, not like he had expected.

It wasn’t like Hanbin came over with the intent of snooping around, either. He showed up directly from the studio, looking for Jiwon to check some lyrics he’d drafted. He’d hardly expected the other rapper to be awake. And he definitely hadn’t expected… well, _this._ It kickstarts his heart into overdrive when Jiwon begins backing out of the bathroom, shuffling like he doesn’t have his contacts in.

“Bobby hyung?” he asks softly, like he’s afraid of what will happen. Because in all honesty, he is in a way. Afraid that this is all just some vivid and strangely realistic dream. Afraid of what will happen if it isn’t, and this is really the reality they’ve been living. Where Jiwon has felt unsafe sharing such a big part of himself from a group of people that wishes nothing but the best for him.

When the older boy spots him in the mirror and whips around, fear in his eyes, Hanbin’s heart sinks. He means to say something else, but Jiwon cuts him off in a panic. “No. No, no, nonono...” He’s staring like Hanbin’s some sort of monster, ears flat against his head and his tail hiding just as his body fights the apparent urge to curl in on himself.

“Hyung, it’s okay, I-”

“No, _no._ ” He laughs but it's alarming, humorless and fearful in a way that Jiwon never is. “No this can’t be- I was doing so well-”

“I’m serious, it's alright.” Hanbin swallows nervously, heart hammering like he's the one that’s been caught. “It was a total accident, I don't have to tell anyone.”

“But you _know._ ” His voice cracks, eyes glassy like he’s about to cry. Jiwon’s clamps his bottom lip between his teeth to hide its tremble.

“What’s so bad about that?” Hanbin asks softly. He wants to hug the older boy, he's aching to consider comfort his close friend. But when he reaches out Jiwon flinches away, eyes trained on the floor. This isn't the first time, and that makes it worse.

“Everything.” Tone fragile, expression broken, he stares at Hanbin’s shoes instead of trying to make eye contact. “Just um… give me a couple hours and I’ll be out of your hair.” Hanbin stares dumbly.

“What do you mean a couple hours, what are you talking about?”

“That’s what you want, isn’t it?” He asks softly, looking defeated. “It’s gonna be easiest if I just leave.”

“Leave the _band_?” Hanbin asks in disbelief, heart sinking to his stomach so fast he feels he might be sick. “What do you mean ‘leave’, why the hell would I want that?”

“I’m a liar.” Jiwon wipes at his eyes as the tears fall but he doesn’t let himself break, not even as his form shakes. “All I’ve done is keep this huge secret from you, everyone’s trust in me will be ruined. Nobody wants a cute kitty rapper, anyways. I’ll just ruin our image.”

“Stop that.” Hanbin says, guiding Jiwon to the living room by his wrist. His hold is feather light, so easy to push away if Jiwon truly wanted to. But he lets it lead him until they arrive, sitting gingerly upon the couch like a stranger in his own home. The wistful sadness in his eyes says he doesn’t want to leave; it’s just what he’s learned from so many times before. When he doesn’t shy away, Hanbin scoots closer.

“What _happened_ to you?” The leader asks softly, rubbing Jiwon’s back. The older boy shrinks, looking at him with a stricken expression.

“I was born this way, I can’t help it.” Hanbin shakes his head, gripping his shoulder just the slightest bit tighter.

“I mean what happened to make you so afraid of who you are?” Jiwon’s attempt at breathing normally is shattered by a sob as he leans into Hanbin’s embrace, gripping his shirt.

“Nobody’s ever cared enough to be kind about it.”

 

\--

 

Honestly, Hanbin couldn’t blame Jiwon for hiding it from them all. Legally, hybrids had the same rights and protection as everyone else. But that didn’t stop some people from treating them like something unnatural, something alien. It was immature, all the cheesy jokes and the poorly-constructed jabs, but it was just enough to hurt. Clearly, Jiwon had lived too much of it.

In hindsight, they should have all known something was up. Jiwon was always worried about his hair- even more so if the stylists made him keep it short for promotions, possessed by an urgency that dissolved as he grew it out. It finally explains Jiwon’s strange bedtime habits, too; the rapper would rather wake up sweating than go to bed without a beanie when they lived in close quarters. And he _never_ slept without his door locked.

“I started hiding them in middle school,” Jiwon explains one morning as Hanbin watches him get ready, deftly using wig glue to hide his ears back against his head. He styles the hair over them with a familiar precision, like he could do it in his sleep. Hanbin never would have imagined it before, but the method works surprisingly well. Which bothers him on a level he can’t begin to explain. “It’s not like it hurts anyways, I hear just fine with just the normal ones.”

“Those ears are normal too,” Hanbin reminds him patiently. The rapper’s hands pause in his hair, an unreadable look in his eyes as he looks in the mirror. He doesn’t respond.

Jiwon doesn’t mention his left ear, the way the tip is gone. Nor does he mention the way it seems slower and less sensitive than his right ear. It gives Hanbin an uneasy feeling at the implications, he never considers asking.

Hanbin looked it up before, the cut. It’s nipped. Like Jiwon is feral. But he knows in his heart of hearts it’s nothing but a sick joke and that’s what makes it awful.

Jiwon’s been through enough. All he can do as a friend is cherish the trust he’s been given and wait for the rest.

 

\--

 

“M-maybe I won’t show them today.”

“Do whatever you need to,” Hanbin insists softly. “You know I won’t stop you.”

It’s a familiar scene these days- Jiwon frozen a few feet from his bedroom door, ears and tail on display for the world, and Hanbin waiting patiently to see if he’ll make a move. For the last week, they’ve been in this same spot every time Yunhyeong and Jinhwan make breakfast. They finally have time to relax and eat together more, which makes it the perfect time to talk it out as a group. Or so Jiwon had said, before getting cold feet about it.

“No.” Hanbin bites back his concerned grimace, nodding instead with a supportive smile. He’s ready to reassure Jiwon when the older boy grips the doorknob, sending both their hearts into their throats. “No, I’m tired of this. I just want to finally be me around someone that isn’t just my family.”

After an entire month of only Hanbin knowing, Jiwon too afraid to tell anyone else, he does it. He makes the first move.

He opens the door.

 

\--

 

“You _what?_ ”

“Junhoe,” Jinhwan warns with a leer, standing just enough in front of Jiwon that he seems fully prepared to fight the fuming vocalist. Hanbin watches their other rapper nervously, fixated on his nervous fidgeting and the death grip he has on Donghyuk’s hand as Chanwoo leans over to periodically rub his knee. Yunhyeong watches in silence, looking as lost as they all feel.

“No, I have every right to be upset.”

“What you need to _have_ is some respect for your hyungs. You better apologize to me and especially to Jiwon. Immediately.”

“You’re not even _listening_ to my-” Junhoe steps away, attempting to assuage his anger with a few deep breaths. “So what, you’re just okay with the fact that he hasn’t told us? Doesn’t it bother you that he didn’t trust us? What does that say about us as friends, hyung?”

That’s enough to do it. The room effectively dies down into silence. Jiwon’s exhale of relief pierces the silence, and Hanbin knows what it was for. He felt it too, terrified that Junhoe had been prepared to say exactly what he had feared from the beginning.

The air feels heavy. They’re suspended in time together, yet their bond feels fragmented and awkward in ways it hasn’t been in forever. When Jiwon untangles his fingers from that of their main dancer all eyes are fixated on him, following each stride as he sidesteps Jinhwan. Tail flicking hesitantly, Jiwon takes a deep breath before wrapping his arms around Junhoe’s torso. The irritation drains from the younger boy’s bones immediately and he reciprocates the physical closeness they never seem to share.

“It’s never been your fault.” Jiwon says it into the crook of Junhoe’s shoulder, heart thumping unpleasantly hard. “I just have a lot of baggage.” Hanbin can’t see Jiwon’s face from here but he sees Junhoe blink back tears as he smiles at the rapper and pulls away, ending a sort of affection they haven’t shared in years. Jiwon turns to them nervously, offering nothing but a shrug.

“It'll get better, though. I’ll be better.”

And better starts with a surprisingly comfortable breakfast together. Even if Jiwon keeps flicking his tail against Yunhyeong’s leg to tickle him.

 

\--

 

As with everything, they learn to carry Jiwon’s burden as their own. He stops wearing so many hats, the hair gel becoming an item for only his travel backpack. Jiwon lets them play with his hair for the first time ever- in fact, he nearly begs them to. It’s no wonder, he’s always been so cuddly. The quick change had merely been a pleasant surprise.

The biggest surprise comes when Jiwon insists on going to a fanmeet without styling his hair like normal. The company had known about him, of course, but Jiwon had been flawless in his efforts to play normal to everyone. So when he shows up to their fan signing event for the new album with a new set of small, fluffy ears, everyone coos.

With every fan that comes to the table with a headband or hat in their hands, he finds his breath catching. He has to trust himself to work on autopilot, mind preoccupied by the constant subconscious fear of confrontation as he interacts with fans the same way as usual. The nervousness bubbles to the surface as a young fan kneels in front of him at the table, beaming innocently.

“Oppa, I brought you a headband. But oh, you’re already wearing one right?” Jiwon laughs nervously, a trembling and uneven sound.

“No, not quite.” Taking a deep breath, he twitches one ear. Then the other. Then both, so there isn’t a hint of doubt in her mind, or anyone else’s. Every fansite camera in the event hall seems to turn to him, the sound of shutters filling any pauses between gasps and shocked chatter. “Um, surprise?”

The fan stares for a moment longer, an expression of awe and confusion on her face. Suddenly her face breaks into a knowing smirk, pulling off her own headband. Among her dark locks sit a pair of tortoiseshell colored ears. “I had a feeling,” she responds with a timid smile.

 

Jiwon's smile had never looked so brilliant.

**Author's Note:**

> This is an idea that I've been hesitating to finish but dying to post. I like to read a lot of "hidden ABO/ hybrid" things, but I've always been too nervous to post my own! It's quick and has many miniature parts, but I hope this is coherent enough to enjoy reading. ^^;  
> Let me know if you like the idea of more ABO or hybrid iKON! I have more, so I want to know if my fellow iKONics really enjoy them.


End file.
